Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
