their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
