Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize