Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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