Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
