I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
