Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
