She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
