I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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