Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
