You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize