I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I love you.
Bad choice
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
