its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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