that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
