Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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