I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Randomize
