I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
