Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
