im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
