I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Farmville is her only friend.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
