id be glad to
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
