He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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