thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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