Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
