he wants to bone in the snuggie
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
