Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
