Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
