It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
