I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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