i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
