Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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