Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
