Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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