Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
