I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Randomize
