It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
