If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
