A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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