I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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