I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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