covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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