STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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