dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
