Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize