Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
