It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
