just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
