trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
