the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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