Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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