Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
