I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
