my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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