I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
