What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
