i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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