why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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