i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
