i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
