just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
