there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
