I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
