I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
