i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
