so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
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