I'm really into asian looking animals
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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