Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
