So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
