Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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