Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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