YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
