this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
