I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
