Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Randomize
