Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
