I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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